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This is now third revision of this poem, any thoughts always welcome. It still niggles so I have put all three versions in here now and will probably put this away for a month, to see how it reads with a bit of distance.

Heart Hospital III

A collection of broken-hearted lovers
walking slowly round the square.
They carry isolation on sagging shoulders,
silent downcast eyes seeking a trail to follow.
They have become random particles,
waiting for collision to free them.

Later, from our room across the square,
through the trees and the glow of street-lights,
there are backlit faces at the windows
looking out across the space,
until you switch on the light
and there is only my face in the dark glass.

Heart Hospital II

A collection of broken-hearted lovers
walking slowly round the square.
Silent downcast eyes,
carrying isolation on sagging shoulders.
Random particles,
looking for collision to free them.
Later, from our room across the square,
looking through trees and the street-lights glow.
There are faces at the windows looking out.
You switch on the light, and there is only
my face in the dark glass.

Heart Hospital I

A collection of broken-hearted lovers,
walking slowly with downcast eyes.
Carrying isolation on sagging shoulders.
Random particles
looking for collision to free them from time.

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